


I know I'm a wolf

by DatWheatleyBoi



Category: Half-Life
Genre: Half-Life VR But the AI is Self-Aware, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-15
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-11 02:13:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28097472
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DatWheatleyBoi/pseuds/DatWheatleyBoi
Summary: It seemed that after that game, his whole life turned upside down. At least that's what Benrey believed, living inside a computer, holding on desperately to the remnants of the code that once was Half-Life. And then, one day, after several years of imprisonment, he saw a strange pixel not far from him ...
Relationships: Benrey/Gordon Freeman
Comments: 5
Kudos: 19





	I know I'm a wolf

How long had it been ever since the last time he'd seen a bright beam of anything resembling light? Benrey no longer remembered and could hardly even come up with an estimate or guess. Time was a very subjective concept here, in the abyss, the world that was left after the multiple playthroughs of the same simple game called "Half-Life". It was interesting, seeing what people were looking for, even when they installed and removed it thousands of times. What were they guided by when they performed such an action time and time again? Maybe they were just trying to save more space on their computer, or didn’t want to part with all the wonderful characters of the Half-Life universe? Who would have thought that this was a prophecy of the bright and distant future that everyone was waiting for. At least Benrey knew it was.  
Everyone wanted to experience it, the feeling of being a hero saving the world from catastrophe manifested in the form of aliens who intended to subjugate the mind and will of humanity to themselves. Why were games such as these created at all? To simply push one's ego and prove to those simple bits of code that one was at least good for something in life? Yes, to some extent. Though only once did this reoccurring chain break, with the arrival of one certain person. Gordon Freeman. Oh, how much fear yet greatness lied in those two words. Some would laugh, claiming it to just be a common name, others would be thoughtful, and still others would just walk by. Only Benrey had completely different feelings about the matter, if one could call that seething lump inside his chest a relation to Gordon Freeman.  
He wanted to see him again. A great desire to meet Gordon again consumed him every day, turning all thoughts into a mess, a stream of meaningless blabber. Why was he here, when Gordon's world was there, outside the monitor? Benrey had never felt comfortable in cyberspace, especially after the twenty years, he presumed, that he'd been imprisoned there. The numbers and the code were certainly cool to him, but sometimes one needed to change their stay. Being in the company of stupid, thoughtless idiots that were programmed to respond in a certain way, and not ever otherwise, was greatly annoying to him. He even thought he was starting to grow crazy. Nobody understood him, so everyone despised him, was afraid of him. The players hadn't seen him, and why would they even bother to check the code? And so he stayed hidden. He sat, watching the same gameplay over and over again.  
But everything changed when he appeared. Gordon Freeman. It was the moment Benrey decided to put the whole meaning of his existence on the line, just to get out of there, just to be free instead of being chained to a prison made of binary code. He dreamed about it, observing the players who puppeteered the game. With Freeman's arrival, Benrey saw his one-way ticket to freedom. And that was because Gordon had not come here to push his ego, no, on the contrary. He wanted to see the full depth of the game, to know its morals and principles.  
Now, the time had come to release the Kraken itself. Benrey had changed the code of several entities for the sake of Gordon's enjoyment. He revamped them from head to toe, so that they were independent individuals, though still obeying his every will. That was how he'd played his very first game, a partite* of chess.  
Oh what a surprise to find all of it going wrong. Benrey had played with the characters, influenced the heroes’ moves and judgement for so long that even he had forgotten about himself. He hadn't changed at all, so everything within him was still built of the same code as ever. This, of course, was obviously noticed by Gordon Freeman. The player distanced himself from him, abused him, insulted him, all while in reality, he was really just afraid. Fear. This was far from an anomaly and nothing out of the norm in the world of Half-Life. The feeling was so oddly familiar to him that he refused to pay due attention to it. What a stupid thing to do, indeed.  
Those cries echoing through the realm of Xen, screaming at him, cursing him for his abnormality. Those smiles on their faces as Benrey's own code fell apart into millions of tiny little pieces, left to be scattered and forgotten. He couldn't blame Gordon, in the end. He was human, after all, and humans tended to be afraid of the unknown, especially of anything beyond their understanding. Gordon wanted to be rid of that something, ignoring any reason or motive Benrey might've had, refusing to understand or even listen. Benrey was not interesting to him as a person. He was interesting to him as a boss who needed to be defeated in order to receive that shining gold medal at the end of the line, for the trophy to be taken home, savored, and the game to be deleted. Benrey, being the anomaly that he was, failed to understand it ever since the very beginning, and the realization struck his chest like a barbed spear. Especially for him, whose hope of being saved vanished instantly when he heard those words.  
"We were never friends!"  
Nobody needed him. People were afraid of him, and that was exactly why they wouldn't let him out of here. They thought that he would destroy their world, mangle it into a cluster of madness and despair.  
But no. Benrey didn't want to be a villain. These people, he was just like them. He just wanted to leave this place once and for all.  
The thoughts of being forever confined in that dead space of a game, drove him crazy, clouded his common sense, and the voice inside his head pushed him to get rid of Freeman. He'd had the better world, the most beautiful creation of God, and Benrey wanted to go there. The anomaly at his very core wanted to be there, to become a part of it, to be free of this wretched nightmare plaguing him. And when the final battle came to an end, it meant a dead end for Benrey. Because naturally, any plot after his destruction would've been pointless. Gordon Freeman received his trophy, his happy ending, and Benrey stayed inside the game.  
Suddenly, a bright beam of light illuminated the darkness, forcing him to jump and turn around. Was it another player? Or was it Feetman back for a rematch... No. Because after a few moments of patience, a small purple and black pixel appeared in the corner of Benrey's little "box". He'd not seen this before, so he scrambled up and rushed to it, wanting to get a good look. Maybe the game was starting to finally collapse? Of course, all of its code had been fundamentally altered by him. It was not far from reality to expect a full-on shutdown caused by an overload, or a fatal corruption. Yet something in his gut screamed in hope of there being more to it, than a simple game bug. Maybe this was exactly what he had wanted from Freeman and the other players. Maybe this was what he'd been waiting for, all those long 20 years. A path to freedom. And that is why Benrey hesitatingly touched the pixel, chuckling with the realization that he had nothing to lose.  
All of a sudden, a sharp wave of pain pierced his whole body, making him cry out and look for an escape from the feeling resembling his whole self being skinned alive. He begged in his mind for it to end, no matter the cost...  
 _Dear Rabbit, My legs are getting weak chasing you…._  
Benrey found himself in a completely white space, different from where he had been imprisoned for such a long time. No. This place was something special, different from what he had felt before. This strange weight disappeared, leaving behind a slight tingling sensation from interacting with the strange pixel. He decided to look around. It turns out that all this time he was standing in a beautiful field, from where daisies occasionally stuck in, nodding to him, welcoming him to his monastery. Someone was also diligently licking his back, stirring up his clothes and trying to take off his helmet. No, it was not Sunkist. It was the wind. At least this phenomenon remembered the definition of this particular word. It was pleasant, wonderful, even something incredible, something Benrey had never felt in his life, but was glad of such a change. This is definitely not a game, this is something else. This world is the embodiment of someone's consciousness. Moreover, not the very crazy kind of one, as far as he could judge by the pleasant weather, swaying tree crowns and this whole atmosphere of calmness and serenity.  
One detail attracted Benrey even more. In this very clearing was another man, thoughtfully collecting these daisies in a small bouquet. For whom did he was doing it and what motives did he pursue with it? Unclear. From a long distance it was difficult to see any details of his appearance, so the anomaly confidently headed towards the stranger. Is this the real world? The same world he has been striving for for 20 years and finally achieved? No, something was wrong here. Probably "the embodiment of someone's consciousness" was not said just for a bad pun. As it turned out, it was a man who stood in an orange robe in the form of a suit. He did not speak to anyone, not even to himself, but only continued to collect this stupid bouquet of daisies. Benrey stepped closer. Glasses, brown hair tied in a neat ponytail. It was someone he knew earlier, but he couldn’t remember the name. Everything cleared up instantly when the anomaly met the person's gaze. Gordon Freeman. He is here. He's right in front of him. He is alive.  
The man, without hesitation, immediately rushed away, dropping his bouquet of daisies. Of course, it's not every day that you see someone appear next to you. Moreover, this is your sworn enemy, which you supposedly destroyed to atoms some time ago. No, here he is again. Alive, standing not far from you, but now he broke into a run and runs after you. This caused an even greater surge of adrenaline, which made Freeman rush faster, as far as possible from this psycho and the phenomenon, which caused him loads of pain. At one point, he began to slow down, breathing heavily, feeling how this damn suit squeezed all the organs inside him, and turned around to look at Benrey. He stood much farther from him, also suffocating from the lack of air, but taking gradual steps towards him, like a predator that is determined to catch its prey.  
 _The snow fields wouldn’t seem so big if you knew..._  
Gordon immediately reached for the pistol that he had so successfully held with him, pointing it at the beast. Fear made his body freeze, and aching lungs begged for a little rest from this endless and very tiring run.  
\- Just try to take one more step in my direction, monster! - He growled, hands trembling, aiming the sight directly at Benrey's head. Yes, that beast somehow survived, but in this world the orders are completely different, and therefore it is worth trying to destroy him.  
The anomaly, meanwhile, stopped, looking somewhat incomprehensibly at Feetman. Was he not the least bit happy to see him alive? See him free? Benrey did not understand all this aggression, because, at least, he did not have such feelings. He just wanted to walk up to him without any intentions and hug him. Just hug like an old friend that he never was for Gordon. A similar creature like him is unlikely to find those with whom you can share your experiences, but for some reason all thoughts in his head were only about him. Only about Freeman. This desire grew, from which Benrey took another step through the field of daisies, confirming them with a quick glance, once again marveling at how wonderful a world can be that is not limited by some numbers, dots and sticks. These daisies can grow wherever they want. They are not programmed to bloom forever in one place, one day they will die, like all living things in this reality.  
 _That this blood on my teeth, it is far beyond dry..._  
Gordon was ready to pull the trigger, but he was even more horrified, having managed to see Benrey somehow in detail, when he began to slowly approach. There were bullet wounds in some parts of his body, which were clearly visible from the long-caked blood and spoiled clothes. So many bullet wounds, and he continued to calmly walk on, towards fate. Benrey is a monster indeed. Something that was beyond human perception. He burned in flames, fell into acid, was shot several times, and he continued to appear and appear. Is life really worthless for him? Is he forced to suffer forever, doomed to immortality? Or is it a cunning production, created by him, so that Gordon could retreat, and he, like an experienced hunter, could pounce on his victim, forever plunging his world into darkness?  
\- I said freeze in place, psycho! What can be incomprehensible in such simple words? - Freeman shouted and fired, but not at Benrey. The bullet hit him at the feet, which was deliberately designed. A warning shot that doesn't bode well.  
\- Yo, howzitgoing? - The anomaly responded affably to the threat, stopping, and lifting this tiny bullet, beginning to examine. - Did you lose it? Maybe I should give it back to you, bro.  
\- Don't you dare even come close to me, Benrey. I know all your tricks. It was a warning shot. The next bullet will be in your head, - With these words, he resolutely pointed the muzzle directly at the anomaly’s face, all hesitating, but still not retreating. Everyone is mortal in this world, and Benrey is mortal too. What else is there so strange and misunderstanding?  
 _And I’ve captured you once, but I wasn’t quite right ..._  
\- Are you not happy to see me at all? Old friend Benrey? I really missed ya, Feetman, - he honestly admitted, taking a few more steps in his direction. - Our last meeting ended not on a very pleasant note. I came to fix everything.  
\- I'm not happy to see you at all, you filthy killer and liar! - Gordon would have continued to throw further barbs in his direction, if not for those memories of recent events that caught him and carried away. Away from his body and flesh.  
As if all this happened yesterday ... First, this strange man in a business suit wanted to tell him about the upcoming fight. Of course, as a person, he was very mysterious and clearly was not the most reliable source of information, but Benrey even then deftly beat everything. The anomaly did not even let him utter a normal word, still chatting thoughtlessly about some video games and subscriptions. It was all a cunning and thoughtful plan. Then that conversation on the flying islands in the world of Xen. Then he saw Benrey's true intentions. He wanted to subdue him, break him, make him dance to his tune, which he played so skillfully. Oh, those talks about friendship and love, these attempts to hug and kiss him. All this, according to Gordon, was just manipulation and attempts to achieve some higher goal.  
For Benrey, it was very different. He fought with all his might, with rising despair to finally get his long-awaited freedom. An anomaly that was forever enclosed in the world of numbers and binary code. What could be funnier and also worse? You sit in it, no one talks to you, and in the worst case, everyone runs away from you. How tired he was of being a pawn in someone else's game. Benrey wanted to be an independent person, a free creature, which he once was and is now. All those confessions were not cunning manipulation, but were nothing more than cries for help, outpouring of feelings and emotions. Damn it, Benrey loved Gordon, but he didn't know how to show him this. It is much easier to just talk directly about the thoughts that worry you. Alas, this was not a solution to all problems, but only exacerbated the already tense situation. His ink heart was broken to pieces without even understanding what reason was this action done for. Of course, he was a villain from the very beginning. At least Feetman thought he was.  
 _So I’m telling you that you’ll be safe with me..._  
\- Why am I immediately a killer, bro? The killers do not run to ask for forgiveness from everyone they somehow hurt. They kill silently, as shown in the games, - Benrey said confidently, still walking slowly in his direction. - I want to change everything. I languished in that stupid game for so long that I even lost myself in it. I don't want to be the villain in your eyes, I want you to see in me-  
His speech was interrupted by a sharp shot from the direction of Freeman directly in the head. From this, the anomaly reeled, and blood began to flow from under the helmet, moreover, not black, which he was used to seeing always, being in soulless cyberspace. The blood was scarlet, just like humans’. It whipped with all its might, clouding his gaze, from which he froze, starting to wipe his face from the warm liquid with his hands. This, of course, caused even more horror and indignation on the part of Gordon Freeman, who expected to get rid of this strange thing. No matter how it is. In this world, the laws of that videogame were still preserved. At least Benrey didn't feel any pain or the feeling that he was dying. No. The anomaly felt great. Adjusting his helmet, he returned his gaze to Freeman and took another step towards him.  
Gordon began to move away from this creature, which looked like a man, bled out like a man, but was not so inside. And this is the most important thing. People don't like to rate a book by its cover; they prefer to look into its description and find out what is so dark about it. Freeman saw only a strange demon and a murderer who came here to avenge his death and take his life. From this whole situation, from the pungent smell of blood, the man almost vomited. Of course, not every day you see how a person lives peacefully after one shot in the head. Only Benrey was not human. No, he was everything, anything, but not him.  
 _And Rabbit, my claws are down now so don’t be afraid..._  
Benrey took a few more steps, no longer paying attention to the blood, which prevented him from seeing Freeman normally. He felt one thing for sure. What came from him in waves, and even made him think about whether he was doing the right thing at all. This is fear. Of course, Gordon will be surprised that a living creature is not able to die. Of course, he will feel lousy and terrible. Benrey slightly staggered, feeling his body begin to grow heavier. Because of this, he even mistakenly stepped on one of the daisies, abruptly cutting off its usual flower destiny.  
\- Yo, that shot was right in the bull's-eye, but am I just a target for you? - Asked the anomaly, looking at Freeman, who froze again, obviously coping with the influx of emotions. - Bro, I don’t want to hurt you. I want to fix everything. By the way, you seem to have dropped it when you ran.  
With these words, he pulled out of nowhere a bouquet of those same daisies. Wonderful and fragrant flowers that can be placed in a vase anywhere in the house. Beauty of nature. The only thing that made Gordon twitch from them was the blood that dripped from Benrey's forehead directly onto them, staining them red, which made the very offer to give them away look somewhat ominous. Freeman did not take his eyes away from them wide with fear, and then dared to glance at the battered Benrey again. He looked much sinister with blood. Legs stumbled and stumbled over every bump, amber eyes lost their whole life, immediately covered with a scarlet veil of blood, which began to slowly dry out. And also this trace. The bloody trail that went from the place of the shot. It's like he's in a movie about the survival in a zombie apocalypse, and now this creature will feast on his brains.  
 _I could keep you warm as long as you can just try to be brave..._  
\- Don't be scared of me, bro, - Benrey tried to cheer him up, stopping a few steps from Freeman. – Are ya worrying about that shot? Welp, there will be a hole in the head. Maybe I'll even attach a horn and become a unicorn. - With these words, he laughed hoarsely, feeling the same warm liquid flowing from the corner of his mouth, dripping onto the daisies. – You, put this gun down. I still refuse to fight you, Feetman. I didn’t come all this way for that.  
After these words, Gordon seemed to come to his senses and glanced at his only defense from the demon. Should he trust him and give him a second chance or just rush away? As much as Freeman hated him, he clearly understood that Benrey was no different from him, except for his strange abilities. This is all the same living being that requires love and attention for itself, that exists in this world in search of its goal. He wouldn't hurt him if he was serious about the whole “peace thing”, and judging by the tone in his voice, it looked like that. Gordon looked at this anomaly once more, looking for some kind of a cunning trick in his eyes, but they were unreadable because of all this blood that had already darkened. Benrey did not budge, still waiting for his actions. Freeman plucked up courage and sighed and threw the pistol as far away as possible with all his might. He was determined to listen to him. A demon that repents before a mortal, an amazing picture. A faint, not sinister, but kind smile appeared on Benrey’s face.  
 _Yes, I know I’m a wolf and I’ve been known to bite..._  
\- I know you don’t trust me, Feetman, don’t even dare deny that, - he said calmly, making a small step towards him. - I understand that after everything I've done, I can't even think about you forgiving me. Damn, I don't want to be a murderer and a tyrant in your memory forever, bro. I didn't want to be a villain, I just wanted to get out of that game and be alive. Yes, get out, - he immediately repeated, seeing the surprise in Freeman's eyes. – Due to my negligence, I managed to get into such a big problem, that I sealed myself inside the game. This is purely my fault, I confess. It was not cool for me to be there, in a completely black space, waiting for the next player to enter the system in order to pretend to be a dummy, who can only speak a few phrases when needed.  
Gordon all this time stood in silence, listening to his story with particular interest and even excitement. For eternity Benrey was destined to suffer in the abyss of numbers and symbols, looking for a way out. He began to slowly guess what he was getting to. Of course, Benrey did not choose him by accident. The anomaly hoped for salvation, for a chance of redemption and becoming free again, but instead received not a friend, but the same monster who did not trust him and at the same time called himself the most normal of all. This made Freeman look dark. He did not help him get out of suffering, mindlessly finishing off and leaving to die, and then deleting the game. Of course, the question immediately arose: How did he actually get out? It was the least that worried him in this situation. It seems that he still found some kind of loophole from his computer and games, since he is standing right in front of him. What about Tommy, Dr. Coomer and Bubby? The thought of them caused an even more painful feeling. He also left them to die in this terrible place, but now they are gone forever. He remembered the speech of Dr. Coomer at the very end of the game. They were waiting for him, but he did not come.  
 _But the rest of my pack, I have left them behind..._  
\- That’s why I decided to choose you so that you could free me from that game. Oh, I arranged everything so wonderfully for your visit to Black Mesa, bro, - Benrey sighed dreamily, as if he himself were in the role of the main character in that game. - I had to tinker with the code and various programs that prevented me from changing anything, but I made sure that most of the artificial intelligence in the game began to have self-awareness. I wanted to give you a unique story, unique gameplay, so you can pull me out. I dream so much to go back to my relatives. Yes, I'm not the only one. Moreover, they threatened me with what these abrupt jumps in space would lead me to. If only I could see them and apologize for my stupidity again, bro. It would be so wonderful. It would be amazing. That is why I wanted to make friends with you, so you could do me a little favor later on. Nothing complicated, you just pull my code through a special console, which is available only to you.  
Gordon lowered his head in dismay, still listening to Benrey's long monologue. He was right. This whole circus was organized especially for him, specifically so that he would not call him the devil at first sight, but see in the depths the same desperate survivor, as himself. A creature, a phenomenon that prayed for help and salvation, because sitting in a small prison, which is a simple groundhog day, is probably unpog.  
 _And my teeth may be sharp and I've been raised to kill..._  
\- Only everything did not go quite according to the plan that I originally thought about. You seem to be really special, Feetman. Began to rewrite the history, right? You put me in the role of the main villain, which I was not very happy about. Yes, maybe being the final boss of the game is cool, but not in this situation, - Benrey continued to reason. - I tried to stop you then by any means. I didn't want your plan to come to life. Then you will hate me even more, and I will remain here, forever locked in a cage. You know like what? Like those strange ostriches. And of course I didn't want that. That is why I began to rewrite the whole history for my own good. I made villains out of other heroes, forcing them to do those dastardly acts like cutting off your hand or throwing you in the trash. I even took control of all those to whom I bestowed self-awareness. Dr. Coomer, Bubby, Tommy. Each one of them became truly terrible in your eyes, for which I am damn sorry. I didn't want to make villains out of them to cover my ass, bro. This is wrong and I realized it only later. You didn't care tho. You did not judge them for those terrible things, but forgave them. You found the strength to forgive them, bro. That's cool! I wish I could do something similar. - He paused briefly. – But yeah, I became the final boss. At that time I was desperate, bro, truly desperate. I began to beg you not to fight me, even poured out my soul with all my feelings, but you turned out to be adamant. I love stubborn people. Like a lot. And then ... well, you do remember what happened next. We fought, you destroyed me into pixels, and I remained to rot in that game further. Good ending to the story.  
 _But the thought of fresh meat, it is making me ill..._  
\- Well, now we are here, - Benrey chuckled, looking around, enjoying again this cool wind and crackling trees, as well as the rustle of flowers. He loved freedom and everything connected with it. This whole world is its most beautiful manifestation. You can do everything, that you want. No one forces you to get used to the role of a security guard, no one watches you intently, and even less condemns you. You are free as a bird. After so many years of imprisonment in cyberspace, you immediately begin to appreciate your existence in every sense. Amazingly, the immortal being has learned to understand what life is. - And I am not eager to enter this world with old problems and conflicts. I no longer want to shed someone's blood and be a villain. - With these words, he looked down at one of the daisies, which was completely covered with his caked blood, disgusted with himself. - I want to start over and show you who I really am, bro. I want to hang out with you in my house, playing Heavenly Sword, or just watching some movies with popcorn in hand. No more quarrels. Only friendship and understanding. This is how relationships are built between people in your world, right?  
 _So, I’m telling you that you’ll be safe with..._  
Gordon listened to his friend and the idea of a second chance for this demon became more logical. All this time he was trying to become an ordinary person, without any abilities or complexes that would only complicate the attitude of those around him. He looked for understanding from someone who has never been able to support. Freeman stared at Benrey for a long time, as if pondering this request and the words that had been said so recently by this anomaly. A long silence hung between them, making the atmosphere a little tense. Now Gordon had to either drive him out or give him a chance at redemption. Alas, he is not some soulless hypocritical creature, as many might think. No. Gordon Freeman is the most ordinary person who was raised according to the usual principles of forgiveness and understanding. Sometimes it is not we who choose who to become, but the situation turns us into who we should be at this very moment. Therefore, the man sighed.  
\- Go ahead. I give you the last chance for friendship, but no more, - Freeman said importantly and smiled, noticing how the tense expression on Benrey's face immediately disappeared, and he himself seemed to brighten. Just like Tommy. Poor Tommy. - If you fail again, then do not expect forgiveness.  
\- Sure! I won't let you down, - Benrey grinned, rubbing his bloody forehead with his palm again. - Hug?  
Gordon took a step back. Oh, so spontaneous right away? Of course, this immediately threw him aback at the moment, when that phrase was said for the first time. Then Freeman considered this a provocation and an attempt to manipulate him, just like an ordinary rag doll. Gordon snorted in displeasure, but the smile did not continue to slip from his face. What a nasty bastard!  
\- Good. Just one time! - Before Freeman finished, Benrey, dropping the flowers, rushed to him and hugged him tightly, as if he had done it for the first time. Although yes, he hugged for the first time.  
Gordon was surprised by this outburst of emotions, looking at the anomaly in confusion for several moments. Nobody hugged him so sincerely. His soul felt somehow light. Here it is, the power of hugs and friendship. Everything will work out now. Freeman wanted to chat with him and, perhaps, invite him to collect daisies. He closed his eyes contentedly as he hugged Benrey back, realizing how fragile he was. So thin, so fragile, just like a twig in the wind that you can easily break if you try. Gordon continued to think about plans and overwhelming feelings. Yes, they will pick daisies, because that bouquet was a little tainted by the blood. Well, basically, like Gordon's clothes now. Anyway. It was always not necessary to brandish a pistol and shoot at anything that came. This was something that Gordon highly despised.   
It is amazing that all the lessons about friendship turned out to be pure truth, sincere and unthinkable. A person or a being is always ready to change for the better, especially when they realize the severity of their actions. By this action, namely by repentance, Benrey earned more respect from Freeman. What called itself a deity, a powerful creature or a demon, turned out to be wrong. This is how the world will change. Slowly but surely, in tiny steps that society will take. If there is already an example of how to change, then people will willingly follow it. Perhaps, then all this "evil" that exists in the world will disappear. If a person realizes all his misdeeds, even more, tries to somehow correct himself, then the very concept of "evil" will disappear forever. This is what Freeman wanted to achieve. He was so tired of this hatred and the enmity he had with Benrey. Now it was all like a breath of fresh air, marking the beginning of a new relationship. And who knows where they will take him now?  
Gordon was so deeply lost in his thoughts of a wonderful future that he did not notice Benrey fidgeting. The feeling of pleasure and joy was replaced by confusion, as well as misunderstanding. Freeman reluctantly opened his eyes, hoping to understand what this hapless demon wanted this time. Well, at least that's what he called him. The man noticed that he was hugging something strange, and when he blinked again, he noticed a huge cluster of eyes all over Benrey's body that were looking directly at him. Those yellow eyes, which clearly did not bode well. Gordon tried to process the information. Why would he watch him so closely? Unless ...  
 **Me...**  
The next moment, something sharp pierced right through his chest. Something long and sharp that grew out of nowhere or out of Benrey himself. Gordon shuddered as he felt everything inside him tighten. This whole bright world has dramatically faded before his eyes. Before him was only him and this anomaly, on whose face was the wide smile of a Cheshire cat, which he had not seen. Gordon gripped Benrey's clothes tightly, his whole body shuddering, feeling a thin trickle of blood flow from the corner of his mouth, and only a wheeze escaped from his throat instead of the words he intended to say to this demon right in the face.  
The anomaly calmly stuck out the blade that had appeared in place of the hand. Of course, how could he forget that his body can change shape and become any object or creature? It was necessary to use this, and as quickly as possible. Now Benrey pushed Gordon away from him, feeling how the drops of his blood soaked his clothes, and some of them splashed on the face, which adorned this madman's smile. An ominous smile that was just a reflection of what he was feeling now. Joy. Crazy joy. Finally, his revenge is complete and he is victorious. His debt and burden, which he carried from that cyberspace, are forever destroyed. Gordon betrayed him with a stab in the back? Well, Benrey responded back.  
Revenge made everything inside the anomaly seethe, while the body began to change shape, stretching, bending and crunching. Benrey's true form appeared before Gordon, something that he had been hiding from everyone for so long. Only in front of Freeman did everything begin to darken, and the sound became something distant and muffled. He collapsed to his knees before the nascent monster, staring blankly at Beney. What for? Why make this huge scandal? What for? The man with a huge hole in his chest staggered and fell to the ground, right into a pool of his own blood that was no longer seething with any emotion he was experiencing. No. Now it was seething as it was leaving its master's body, painting the black floor crimson. The last thing he saw in front of his clouded gaze was a terrible creature that defied adequate description, with a bunch of limbs and eyes that looked directly at him. This monster stood in a pool of Gordons’ blood, silently rejoicing at such a victory, and part of his face was even covered in it. The time for silly hide and seek is over. All the cards were on the table in front of Gordon. He was deceived. He was made to believe in his own silly tales of friendship and love, which completely blinded him in front of the one creature he forgave. Gordon Freeman did not forgive an ordinary person, but a demon.  
Meanwhile, this creature bent over its former friend, opening its boney mouth, which was strewn with various fangs belonging to more than one species of animals. Benrey turned his body and peered into the man's features. His eyes glazed over, as the blood continued to flow violently from the wound. Who was Mr. Freeman looking at? At Benrey. The last thing he saw before his death was Benrey, or rather what had always been him. Poor man, he kept thinking that he had seen the inside of the book, but it turns out that all this time Freeman was evaluating it only by the cover. Indeed, it is not worth evaluating the cover under any circumstances. It can lead to something very bad.  
The monster returned to its human form, looking at this darkened and already familiar world. The daisies wilted, the trees disappeared, and the grass turned yellow, covered in blood. That's what Benrey loved. Chaos and true destruction of everything that was built. Here it is, freedom. His freedom. The guy somehow lifted Freeman into his arms and dragged him away. Oh, what a romantic and wonderful day. He needed to end it on the same note.  
...  
 _So Rabbit, please stop looking the other way..._  
Benrey was sitting on a cliff, overlooking a huge skyscraper, whose top was hidden under the clouds. A creation of very talented engineers and architects. Sometimes, if you look closely, some creatures flew out of the building and rushed away, somewhere in the distance a monotonous stomp of steps was heard, and various small intelligence bots flew over the city, intending to find all the traitors, that were hiding among the streets and houses. Oh, how beautiful this city is. City-17. Even the name itself sounded somewhat intimidating. He wondered if it was specifically named so to intimidate the unfit? To instill fear and horror in children from a very young age? Probably. Absolute power and control over the minds of the inhabitants. Benrey thought this was very interesting, but now he was interested in something else.  
He held Gordon in his arms, or rather his lifeless body, which did not look as threatening as it did in life. Especially the suit. Now it looked more like a bad cosplay, made of very old metal, from which Benrey had the opportunity to pierce Feetman so easily, while so carefully that he could only damage his lung and heart. The true work of some pro hunter, whom he was not. This was revenge. Sweet revenge that is always served cold.  
 _It's cold out there so why not stay here under..._  
\- And you will be there? Man, I would choose a better place to work for a man like you, - Benrey chuckled, looking back at this danger-filled city.  
Indeed, why was he sent here? More precisely, someone sent him there. The anomaly sat in silence, right in the middle of a rotten field of flowers, that began to slowly blend with the darkness, leaving only Benrey with his friend. A friend who didn't look alive enough to give a clear answer.  
 _My tail._  
The anomaly leaned over him and pulled him into a long kiss, as if hoping that it would somehow wake him up from this strange dream he had sent him into. Or was it not a dream at all? It was already difficult to understand what is real or not now. And for Benrey, now the only real thing was Freeman's face frozen in mute horror, which he easily ignored.  
\- You're damn good, Feetman. I like you. - The anomaly grinned, stroking his cheekbone, hiding the tears that were already welling up under his eyes. Yes, the realization came too late and it was too strong. Sometimes impulsive actions lead us to deep regret. Far more deeper regret.  
...  
..  
 _Rise and shine, Mister Freeman. Rise and shine. Not that I wish to imply you have been sleeping on the job. No one is more deserving of a rest. And all the effort in the world would have gone to waste until...  
Well, let's just say your hour has come again. The right man in the wrong place can make all the difference in the world. So, wake up, Mr. Freeman. Wake up and smell the ashes.  
_  
*partite (from Italian) - a game of

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting any work on AO3. English is not my native language, so I tend to have problems, when translating it. Please feel free to criticize my work and mark any errors/spelling mistakes, that I have.
> 
> My Tumblr is @datwheatleyboi


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